There are many stressful aspects of the job, such as difficult assignments and career setbacks, but one of the most difficult circumstances is having to work with someone you dislike, get along with poorly, or find annoying.
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Colleague conflicts appear to be increasing. In fact, a FlexJobs poll revealed that 84% of respondents had dealt with a toxic coworker and 87% had dealt with a toxic supervisor. Furthermore, according to University of Chicago research, 74% of Americans think that manners and civility have declined.
Not only can learning how to collaborate effectively with others help you be more productive at work, but it’s also vital to your health and happiness. Studies published in Occupational Health Science have shown that workplace incivility, such as sarcasm, demeaning interactions, interrupting, or rudeness, can lead to stress and insomnia at night. Additionally, according to the FlexJobs survey, misbehavior can lead to wellness issues like anxiety (51%), weariness (44%), and even physical challenges (33%), as well as decreases in engagement and productivity.
However, even if someone isn’t acting badly, you may still have problems with them if you don’t like the way they handle things or feel undervalued when you’re around them.
1. Act with Respect
It’s probably most crucial to begin with respect. Even though the coworker can be difficult to deal with, your credibility and integrity will both suffer greatly if you treat them with respect. People pay attention to how people interact with each other, so when you choose the high road, people will respect your ability to handle difficulties and act professionally even when things get tough.
You should treat your coworker with respect not only because of your own moral principles but also because you have the potential to affect them in a way you may not have realized. The main ways we learn about human relationships are by observing, hearing, and being around other people. Thus, the way you choose to engage with your coworker will determine the tone of the relationship and might even have a positive effect on them.
If you can identify even one or two redeeming qualities in the person, you might also find it easier to show respect. They may be excessively combative, but you have to respect their ability to hold their ground. You can appreciate their zeal and passion for self-expression even if they interrupt you. Finding things to value will eventually improve your own peace of mind and may even have positive effects on the relationship, even though it may be difficult.
Naturally, when you disagree, concentrate on the issue or the procedure rather than the individual. Try to keep everything as task-specific as you can; this will help you overcome obstacles.
2. Retain your perspective
Keeping perspective is essential for working well with a colleague you find challenging on multiple levels.
Time. Remember that you won’t be collaborating with them indefinitely. Remind yourself that you’re likely to move on to another job or see a coworker move on within a reasonable amount of time due to the high role turnover and frequency of job changes.
Connections. Don’t forget to acknowledge the wonderful relationships you have with your teammates. This is probably an isolated instance and not representative of your ability to collaborate well with most people.
The nature of humans. It’s normal to get along with some people better than others, and there is definitely truth to the notion that there is chemistry between individuals. There will be people you click with right away and people you find it difficult to get along with. Permitting yourself to relate differently is something you should do.
3. Look for Instruction
Seeking to gain knowledge from the exchanges is another efficient strategy for collaborating with someone you find challenging. Every time you face a challenge, consider how you could have performed better and consider how you could develop your own abilities, such as tolerance, empathy, or listening.
Consider why the person irritates you as well. There may be similarities to your own areas of improvement; in fact, the things that irritate you about them may point out opportunities for personal development. You may become frustrated by their lack of follow-through, for instance, but you also realize that you can improve your own responsiveness.
Think about the lessons you could take away from the other person’s actions as well. As an alternative, use their interruptions and devaluing actions to emphasize how important it is that you interact positively with them. Remind yourself of how you want to continuously value other people’s contributions if they claim credit for your work. Sometimes, figuring out what doesn’t work is just as effective as figuring out what does.
Remain humble and open as well. If you’ve come to the conclusion that someone is dislikeable, it’s possible that you’re drawing incorrect inferences about their actions or motivations. Make sure to remain receptive to their opinions and make an effort to approach each conversation with an open mind.
4. Show Empathy
Being deliberate in your expression of empathy, taking into account their possible feelings or thoughts (cognitive or emotional empathy), is another tactic to deal with someone you find challenging.
Think about getting down to discuss your work with them, letting them know how their actions are affecting you, and hearing about their experiences. It’s possible that you can behave better and that their impact doesn’t match their intention.
In fact, you’ll improve the relationship and your own mental health when you make an effort to understand. Remember that you have no idea what another person is experiencing. If they seem difficult to you, it’s possible that they’re attempting to get by during extremely trying times that they’re not at work.
Presume they mean well as well. Their behavior toward you might be an inadvertent reflection of their own struggles rather than something that is specifically directed at you, especially if they are dealing with a lot of personal issues.
Although they still need to take responsibility for their actions, it can be beneficial to be kind, patient, and understanding with them.
